Thursday, February 28, 2019

PSA: The Momo Challenge is Not Real

This is a public service announcement. Momo is not real. The so-called "Momo Challenge" is a hoax. Tabloid "news" articles linking various teen suicides to the "Momo Challenge" are fake-news clickbait garbage written by garbage human beings who eke out a living selling obvious lies to frightened simple folk. Don't let that be you.

Again, there is no Momo. There is no bird-faced demon on WhatsApp tryna slide into your DMs in order to trick you into turning on your oven in the middle of the night. (The legend sounds kinda dumb when I put it that way, doesn't it? Hold on; it gets even dumber.) The aforesaid bird-faced demon, which I note again does not exist, has also not hacked into Peppa the Pig's YouTube channel, nor into the popular video game Fortnite, nor can she invade your dreams and kill you Freddie Kreuger-style. So, if you could stop blowing up my social media feeds with breathless (and baseless) fake-news "reports" that state otherwise, that'd be great-- thanks in advance.

"But Troy," someone always says, "I've seen pictures of Momo on YouTube. Kids are scared! That proves everything!"

It proves horse feathers. But before I discuss the many pictures of Momo cropping up all over YouTube, allow me to briefly delve into the history this legend, as detailed on KnowYourMemes, Mashable, and other respectable sites. Long ago, in 2014, a Japanese special-effects company named Link Factory created a grotesque sculpture of a harpy-like creature named "Bird Mother" for an exhibit of monstrous special effects. Bird Mother has taloned bird-feet, a human female torso, and a distorted, vaguely bird-like (but mostly human) face with stringy black hair, freaky bulging eyes, and an oversized mouth that smiles disquietingly. Bird Mother is quite the work of art, if you are into that sort of thing (i.e., if you are into the nightmare-inducing sort of things). Its creators posted pictures of the sculpture from various angles on Instagram.

(Note: I'm not going to post a picture of Bird Mother because I'm tired of seeing it, but it is not hard to find.)

Fast-forward to the summer of 2018. A rumor starts spreading in Spanish-language social media circles of a mysterious telephone number which, if you add it on WhatsApp, will start sending you messages urging you to do increasingly dangerous challenges such as taking your parents' pills or turning on the oven in the middle of the night, before ultimately telling you that you can "win the game" by killing yourself. (In other words, a rehash of the equally fake "Blue Whale Challenge", but in a different part of the world and under a different name.) This supposed WhatsApp account used a picture of Bird Mother's face as its avatar and "MOMO" was its user name. In July of that year, a YouTuber named Al3xeitor attempted, unsuccessfully, to call Momo live on his YouTube channel. As of this writing, that video has racked up well over five million views. Al3xeitor's video either caused, or is coincident with, the first wave of the Great Momo Panic.

It is important to note, again, that Momo is entirely legendary. There is no part of the Momo legend that has any basis in reality. No one has ever been able to get in contact with Momo using any of the supposed mysterious telephone numbers. (The telephone number, of course, varies wildly with whoever is telling the story.) Nor has anyone contacted Momo via the supposed WhatsApp account (which most likely never existed in the first place, and certainly doesn't exist now). People claiming to have successfully FaceTimed or called the Momo creature are attention-seeking liars. No documented suicide or injury has ever been linked to Momo or the non-existent Momo Challenge. Tabloid reports that state otherwise are, as I said above, irresponsible clickbait garbage. Momo has never contacted anyone for the same reason that Slenderman has never contacted anyone: they aren't real.

"But what about the pictures on YouTube!?"

I'm getting to that. In February of 2019, round two of the Great Momo Panic began as the (note) entirely unfounded rumor of Momo suddenly spread to English-language social media. As the hysteria spread online, unscrupulous quasi-journalistic outfits such as the Daily Mail cashed in, adding fake news to the fire. As well, jokers and pranksters on YouTube started jumping on the Momo bandwagon with hoaxes of varying degrees of sophistication. Very quickly, Momo's beatifically smiling face became ubiquitous, but it's important to note that all pictures of Momo on YouTube or other social media fall into one of the following contexts, in order of most common to least common:

  1. Gullible folks breathlessly and uncritically repeating unfounded "warnings" about the "dangers" of sinister Momo, thus feeding the frenzy and frightening the weak-minded 
  2. Pranksters making fake (but scary) videos that attempt to conform to the legend in some ways (while carefully avoiding doing anything that would run afoul of YouTube's terms of service, such as actually telling a kid to kill themselves), as a joke at the expense of the aforesaid gullible folks who believe in Momo, or otherwise just having fun with the ghost story
  3. Rational people documenting the truth about Momo and trying fruitlessly to get the aforesaid gullible folks to check Snopes or whatever before forwarding obviously fake crap 
  4. Content related to the original Bird Mother sculpture 

Note that "actual" Momo is nowhere to be found on YouTube. (And in any event, even according to the legend, Momo haunts WhatsApp, not YouTube; surely demons can only haunt one social media platform at a time, yes?) Indeed, YouTube issued an official statement on February 27: "Contrary to press reports, we’ve not received any recent evidence of videos showing or promoting the Momo challenge on YouTube. Content of this kind would be in violation of our policies and removed immediately."

Note that they are not saying that there are no pictures of Momo on YouTube. Momo pictures are all over YouTube these days, as YouTube is doubtless aware. But mere pictures of Momo, however disturbing, do not break YouTube's terms of service, nor do they prove that the so-called "Momo Challenge" is a real thing that any real person has ever attempted to undertake or induce anyone else to undertake.

"But what about the six-year-old girl who was contacted by Momo on YouTube!? Checkmate, skeptic!"

Yes, about that. Here is said girl's statement in her own words. Momo is "like an app, and you can call and text her," and "she could be in your dreams or she could kill you."

Well, there you go. Seems legit. Just like Freddie Krueger, who is also definitely real, right? Definitely not a case of a six y/o mind being exposed to too many scary movies at too early of an age and losing track of the difference between make-believe and reality, or of being put up to some disgraceful shenanigans by an irresponsible attention-seeking parent. No sir, definitely not that. It's just a shame that there isn't any corroborating evidence for this delusional load of horse-apples completely rock-solid, certified-gold, hundred-percent-proven factual account.

(In all seriousness, I will not give out the name of the six-year-old girl who says Momo can be in your dreams and kill you, even though the media-- of course-- has. She's six. She was put up to this nonsense by some adult, I think it's safe to say-- and I don't mean Momo. She doesn't deserve to be piled on.)

"But my kids are scared!"

Kids are not scared because Momo the WhatsApp Demon is hacking their Fortnite game and supernaturally invading their dreams. Kids are scared because mommy is having a frantic meltdown, snatching the phone out of their hand and deleting YouTube Kids off of it, and/or because they have friends at school whose parents are also giving in to the hysterical overreaction, deleting Fortnite off the family computer. No doubt, many kids are confused as to what's going on. But it's the overreaction to the hoax that is both (a) scaring kids, and (b) inducing jokers and trolls to jump in on the hoax action. Stop feeding the frenzy. By doing so, you are only playing into Momo's wickedly sharp talons. (That last was figuratively speaking, of course. I'm sure Momo keeps her talons neatly trimmed.)

"But YouTube Kids has lots of scary and disturbing content!"

This last bit, unfortunately, is true, but it has nothing to do with Momo. In fact, there's extremely disturbing, blood-curdling stuff that has made it onto YouTube Kids that would make Momo the WhatsApp Demon look like Anne of Green Gables by comparison. (And no, I will not link to it.)

It is important to note that neither YouTube Kids, nor YouTube more generally, are curated by a flesh-and-blood person. Machine-learning algorithms decide what is appropriate for the "Kids" platform, decide what appears on "Trending", and decide what appears as related or recommended videos for you to watch next. Sometimes the machines make decisions that are, ahem, "interesting". YouTube has employees that do look into reports/complaints, but it is well-known that the main priority for such policing is tracking down violations of copyrighted music and movies. Policing adult content that is deceptively (or accidentally) tagged as children's content seems to be a much lower priority, I am sad to say.

And moreover, as noted above, the mere fact that content is "disturbing", does not, in and of itself, break YouTube's rules. If you see a "Screamer" with Momo's face in it, for example, and you report it, it's likely that it will not even be removed (from YouTube, at least-- hopefully such content would get removed from YouTube Kids, if it ended up there).

But here's the good news. If you, the parent, personally vet each video you allow your kid to watch, that should be fine. The idea that Momo can "hack into" any video when the parents are not watching is one of the many supernatural powers attributed to Momo that has zero basis in reality. It is possible to configure the YouTube Kids app so that the search bar is disabled, and the user (i.e., the kid) is limited to watching playlists that you have set up yourself. Do it that way. Or-- and here's a crazy thought-- maybe watch videos together with your kids, answering any questions they may have, instead of using YouTube as your babysitter while you go off and do something else.

(But of course, that would take work-- much easier to simply fly off the handle, delete everything, and spew out a tweet-storm consisting of 50% exclamation points announcing your ignorance to the world.)

The bottom line: if you let your kids watch whatever they want on YouTube-- even so-called YouTube Kids-- without supervision, then you are taking a huge risk that they will see something truly upsetting, even traumatizing. That was true long before Momo came along, and isn't likely to change anytime soon. And if you let your kids contact random strangers via WhatsApp (or any other kind of way), then, well, a bird-faced, Fortnite-hacking, dream-walking demon is likely going to be the least of your worries.

tl;dr... Stop with the Momo crap, I beg you.

Friday, February 15, 2019

Two-Make-Three Words in Scrabble, Part Three: L-Q

This is part three of the list of three-letter words that can be formed from extant two-letter words. For intro remarks as to what this is all about, see Part One.

SYMBOLS
*   Word is new for Scrabble, as of OWL 2014 / OSPD5
†   Word is NOT valid in Words With Friends (but is valid in Scrabble)
‡   Word is NOT valid in Scrabble, but IS valid in Words With Friends (not comprehensive)
(And of course, no symbol means the word should be fine to play in pretty much anything.)

La (a note to follow so)

ALA: a wing-shaped part of a bone
 ---
LAB: 'cause saying "laboratory" is too much work
LAC: a kind of beetle, from whose resinous byproduct shellac is made
LAD: a strapping young man
LAG: to fall behind
LAH: variant of "la" (as in, the do-re-mi note) †*
LAM: the dame with the gams is on the lam (...someone in a film noir movie might say)
LAP: it disappears when you stand up (presumably it goes to Lapland)
LAR: a kind of gibbon
LAS: more than one "la"
LAT: what a normal person calls their latissimus dorsii muscles
LAV: short for "lavatory"
LAW: I am the law!
LAX: loose (figuratively or literally)
LAY: to place horizontally

Li (about a third of a mile)

(no front hook for "li")
 ---
LIB: short for "liberal"
LID: a removable top for a cup or bowl
LIE: to tell untruths
LIN: Scottish for "waterfall", sometimes spelled "linn" (which is also valid)
LIP: the fleshy rim of your mouth
LIS: more than one "li"; also an obscure legal term (completely different word)
LIT: lighted

Lo (and lo, I am with you alway)

(no front hook for "lo")
 ---
LOB: to throw or hit something high into the air with not much horizontal impetus
LOG: a tree's corpse
LOO: British for "bathroom"
LOP: to cut off (e.g. "lop off his head")
LOR: a mild swear word, short for "Lord" (comparable to how "gosh" and "jeez" are used in place of God and Jesus respectively when quasi-cussing) †*
LOT: a great quantity
LOW: not high (can be a noun also... e.g. "the highs and lows of competitive Scrabble")
LOX: liquid oxygen

Ma ('cause saying "mom" is too much work)

AMA: pearl-diver
 ---
MAC: a casual term of address to a man whose name is not known (similar to bud, dude, etc), sometimes spelled "mack" (also valid)
MAD: angry and/or crazy
MAE: Scottish for "more"
MAG: magazine
MAM: British for "mom" †*
MAN: a dude
MAP: shows the way to the treasure
MAR: a stain
MAS: more than one "ma"
MAT: a temporary covering
MAW: the hapless victim disappeared into the monster's gaping maw
MAX: 'cause saying "maximum" is too much work
MAY: I think I may, I think I might

Me (a name I call myself... the actual one)

EME: Scottish for uncle (seriously, Scotland?)
 ---
MED: medicine or medication
MEH: interjection expressing boredom (coined by The Simpsons TV show) *
MEL: medical prescription shorthand for "honey" (I am puzzled as to why that's a thing, but okay)
MEM: the Hebrew letter מ
MEN: dudes
MET: meeted
MEW: the sound a kitten makes

Mi (a name I call myself... the do-re-mi note)

AMI: parlez vous francais, mon ami?
 ---
MIB: a kind of marble used for the game of marbles
MID: as in, the mid 19th century (often hyphenated in such contexts, but it doesn't HAVE to be... since it CAN stand alone as a word, it's allowed in Scrabble)
MIG: variant of mib (the kind of marble)
MIL: 1/1000th of a (monetary) pound, in some countries that use "pounds" as the local currency
MIM: British for "modest" or "demure"
MIR: a commune of peasant farmers (Russian loan word)
MIS: more than one "mi"
MIX: to blend together

Mm (tasty)

HMM: variant of "hm" (or maybe "hm" is the variant of "hmm"? Hmmm!)
MMM: really tasty †*
UMM: variant of "um"
 ---
MMM: really, really tasty! (this is the only 2-make-3 entry that appears twice under the same two-letter word!) †*

Mo (moment)

EMO: like a goth teen *
 ---
MOA: a peculiar-looking, vaguely ostrich-like bird, now sadly extinct
MOB: a crowd or the mafia (use context to distinguish)
MOC: 'cause saying "moccasin" is too much work
MOD: modification or moderator (use context to distinguish)
MOG: Cockney slang for a cat (shortened form of "moggy")
MOI: fancy-pants word for "me" *
MOL: one mol is an Avogadro's number worth of molecules (or atoms) of any given substance (more commonly spelled "mole")
MOM: 'cause saying "mother" is too much work
MON: variant spelling of "man" in a number of different English dialects
MOO: what a cow says
MOP: a bundle of coarse yarn on a stick you wipe the floors with
MOR: "humorous" pseudo-dialectal spelling of "more", e.g. "Ah reckon that slap o' grits o'er yonder is mor'n y'all can et up"
MOS: more than one "mo"
MOT: a witty remark, usually seen as part of the phrase "bon mot"
MOW: like mowing the grass

Mu (Greek letter μ)

AMU: atomic mass unit (often written lowercase and pronounced as a word, so it's allowed)
EMU: a funny-looking bird
 ---
MUD: watery dirt or really dirty water
MUG: an ugly face or a large drinking cup (use context to distinguish)
MUM: as in, "mum's the word"
MUN: old-timey variant of "must"
MUS: more than one μ
MUT: variant spelling of "mutt" (i.e., a mongrel dog)
MUX: short for "multiplexer" (an electronics component) †*

My (belonging to me)

(no front hook for "my")
 ---
MYC: variant spelling of "mic", because saying "microphone" is too much work, and also a kind of oncogene (i.e., a cancer-causing gene) †

Na (variant spelling of "nah")

ANA: a collection of memorable sayings
 ---
NAB: steal or kidnap
NAE: Scottish for "not"
NAG: what your mom does
NAH: nah, bruh! (for some reason, "bruh" is not yet valid... bruh!)
NAM: variant spelling of "naam", an obscure legal term
NAN: variant spelling of "naan", a delicious flatbread term
NAP: a short break for sleeping
NAV: short for "navigation", usually in the context of a website †*
NAW: naw, bruh!
NAY: nay, dear brother!

Ne (variant spelling of "nee", used to indicate a maiden name)

ANE: Scottish for "one"
ONE: non-Scottish for "ane" ;)
 ---
NEB: old-timey word for nose or beak
NEE: normal spelling of the word to indicate a woman's maiden name
NET: crisscrossed ropes for catching animals or people
NEW: not old

No (not yes)

ONO: a kind of mackerel
 ---
NOB: a term from cribbage (the card game), namely the jack of the starter's suit
NOD: like nodding your head yes
NOG: like eggnog
NOH: a kind of traditional play in Japan (usually referred to in English as "noh theater")
NOM: fancy-pants word for "name", usually seen as part of the phrases "nom de plume" (meaning a writer's assumed name) or "nom de guerre" (usually meaning a guerrilla or terrorist's alias), though note that "guerre" is NOT a valid word
NOO: "humorous" pseudo-dialectal "mispronunciation" of the word new, e.g. "Noo-Yawk"
NOR: can replace "or" when negating things, e.g. "not this nor that"
NOS: yeses and nos
NOT: an adverb of negation
NOW: currently

Nu (Greek letter ν)

GNU: a cool-looking animal with a suitably cool name
 ---
NUB: a small protuberance
NUG: a flowering plant cultivated in Ethiopia for its edible seeds and oil †*
NUN: a female member of a Catholic religious order
NUS: more than one of the Greek letter
NUT: a crazy person or a really dry fruit in a tough shell (use context to distinguish)

Od (old-timey science word)

BOD: 'cause saying "body" is too much work
COD: a kind of fish
GOD: invisible sky father
HOD: an apparatus for carrying bricks on your shoulder
MOD: modification or moderator (use context to distinguish)
NOD: like nodding your head
POD: like peas in a pod
ROD: as in, "thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me"
SOD: dirt suitable for growing stuff in
TOD: an obsolete unit of weight, equal to ~28 pounds
YOD: alternate spelling of "yodh", the Hebrew letter '
 ---
ODA: a harem (Turkish loan-word)
ODD: strange
ODE: a kind of poem
ODS: totally makes sense to refer to the non-existent od in the plural

Oe (a Faroese whirlwind... do not ask me to explain further)

DOE: a deer, a female deer
FOE: fancy-pants word for "enemy"
HOE: a gardening implement (what did you think it was?)
JOE: slang for "coffee"
ROE: a kind of deer
TOE: a foot-finger
VOE: old-timey word for a small bay
WOE: trouble
 ---
OES: more than one oe

Of (from)

OOF: the sound a Roblox character makes when they die (how is "oof" still not a valid WWF word!?) *†
 ---
OFF: not on
OFT: 'cause saying "often" is ofttimes too much work

Oh (as in, "oh, snap!")

FOH: variant of "faugh" (an old-timey interjection expressing disgust)
NOH: a kind of traditional play in Japan
OOH: oohs and ahs
POH: old-timey variant of "pooh" (the interjection expressing disbelief)
 ---
OHM: a unit of electrical resistance
OHO: aha! ho ho!
OHS: exes and ohs

Oi (as in, "Oi, what's all this then!?")

KOI: a kind of fish *
MOI: fancy word for "me" *
POI: a traditional Hawaiian food made from taro (also a valid word)... it looks kinda like purple applesauce
 ---
OIK: British slang for an oaf †
OIL: a viscous liquid not soluble in water

Om (meditation word)

DOM: an honorary title, similar to "don"
HOM: an obscure mathematics term, as in "hom functor" (and functor is a valid word even though hom is not in WWF)  †*
MOM: 'cause saying "mother" is too much work
NOM: fancy-pants word for "name"
POM: like a pom-pom
ROM: read-only memory, i.e. permanent storage for computer instructions or data ("rom" can be written lowercase and pronounced like a word, so it's allowed)
TOM: a male cat
YOM: Hebrew loan-word for "day", as in Yom Kippur
 ---
OMA: "grandmother" in some dialects †*
OMS: say a few oms when meditating

On (not off)

CON: to trick by betraying someone's confidence
DON: an honorary title, similar to "dom"
EON: a long time
FON: variant spelling of "foehn", a warm, dry wind
HON: short for "honey", i.e. what waitresses at Cracker Barrel call everyone
ION: an electrically charged atom (the two kinds of ion, cations and anions, which are positive and negative ions, respectively, are both recognized as valid words too)
MON: Jamaican man
SON: male child
TON: really heavy
WON: 'cause "winned" ain't a word
YON: yonder
 ---
ONE: a number between zero and two
ONS: as in, "ons and offs"

Op (short for "operation")

BOP: to strike lightly and/or playfully
COP: policeman (short for "copper", which police badges were once made from)
FOP: a useless dandy
HOP: ...skip and a jump
KOP: a hill (Dutch loan-word)
LOP: to cut off (e.g. "lop off his head")
MOP: a bundle of coarse yarn on a stick you wipe the floors with
POP: incorrect Midwestern slang for "coke"
SOP: to dip in liquid, e.g. sopping up the spaghetti sauce with garlic bread
TOP: the opposite side from the bottom (can also be a verb, e.g. "he topped up his glass")
 ---
OPA: an interjection of "acclaim" (Greek loan-word, much popularized by the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding) †*
OPE: as in, "ope wide the gate" ('cause saying "open" is too much work)
OPS: like spec ops ("spec" also a valid word)
OPT: to choose an option (e.g., "he opted for the cheapest one")

Or (heraldry term for gold color)

COR: variant spelling of "kor", the unit of measure
DOR: a kind of beetle (also spelled "dorr")
FOR: opposite of against
GOR: a "mild oath", i.e. the British version of "golly" or "gosh"
KOR: ancient Hebrew unit of measure equal to 10 "baths" or about 58 gallons, see Ezekiel 45:14
MOR: "humorous" pseudo-dialectal spelling of "more", e.g. "Ah reckon that slap o' grits o'er yonder is mor'n y'all can et up"
NOR: can replace "or" when negating things, e.g. "not this nor that"
TOR: old-timey word for a high, craggy hill, preserved in a few place names in England, e.g. Glastonbury Tor
 ---
ORA: one possible plural of "os" (it's a long story)
ORB: a sphere
ORC: monstrous demi-human race from Lord of the Rings, Dungeons & Dragons, and similar
ORE: metal-bearing rock
ORG: organization †*
ORS: totally makes sense to refer to ors in the plural
ORT: old-timey word for a scrap of food left over from a meal (more commonly seen as "orts", which is also valid)

Os (a bone, an orifice, or an esker; use context to distinguish)

BOS: the genus to which cows, yaks, zebus, and other related animals belong
COS: cosine, cousin, or variant spelling of kos (use context to distinguish)
DOS: more than one "do", as in do-re-mi
KOS: a former unit of length in India (~2 miles), also spelled "coss" or "cos" (which are also valid)
MOS: more than one "mo"
NOS: more than one "no"
POS: more than one "po", i.e. chamber-pot *
SOS: more than one "so", as in do-re-mi-fa-so
WOS: variant of "woes"
 ---
OSE: variant spelling of "os", meaning an esker

Ow ('cause saying "ouch" is too much work)

BOW: to bend
COW: a bull's female counterpart
DOW: Scottish for "thrive"
HOW: in what way?
JOW: Scottish for the sound a bell makes
LOW: not high
MOW: like cutting the grass
NOW: the present moment
POW: boom! bang!
ROW: ...yer boat
SOW: like Miss Piggy
TOW: to pull something heavy
VOW: a super-serious promise
WOW: amazing!
YOW: what you yell when yowling... yow!
 ---
OWE: to be indebted to
OWL: a wise bird that eats insects
OWN: to legally possess
OWT: dialectal variant spelling of "aught" (meaning "anything") in the north of England, e.g. "don't say owt for which you'll be sorry" †*

Ox (fixed bull)

BOX: a hollow cube to contain things
COX: a variety of apple (often uppercase but CAN be lower)
FOX: what does the fox say!?
GOX: gaseous oxygen
LOX: liquid oxygen
POX: a pox on both your houses!
SOX: solid oxygen
VOX: fancy-pants word for "voice"
 ---
OXO: cubes of beef extract used to make stock (originally a brand name, but CAN be lowercase)
OXY: 'cause saying "oxygen" is too much work

Oy (variant of "oi")

BOY: a young male
COY: playing hard-to-get
FOY: old-timey word for a goodbye party
GOY: a gentile
HOY: a kind of ship
JOY: a kind of happiness
SOY: what they make tofu and edamame out of
TOY: a thing to play with
 ---
(no back hooks for "oy")

Pa ('cause saying "papa" is too much work)

OPA: an interjection of "acclaim" (Greek loan-word) †*
SPA: a place for medicinal baths
 ---
PAC: short for "shoepac", a heelless inner shoe worn within a boot ("shoepac" is also a valid word)
PAD: a soft covering to absorb or cushion
PAH: interjection expressing disgust or contempt
PAK: short for "package" †
PAL: slang for friend
PAM: slang for pamphlet; also an obscure card game
PAN: a metal circle to cook things on
PAP: soft food for babies or invalids, e.g. bread soaked in water or milk (presumably a "pap smear" is called that because it has a similar consistency)
PAR: for the course
PAS: more than one pa
PAT: on the head
PAW: an animal's foot or "hand"
PAX: the "kiss of peace", i.e. the ritual kissing of a picture of Jesus or a saint in old-school churches
PAY: to give money to

Pe (Hebrew letter פ, actually the same as "fe")

APE: kind of like a big monkey
OPE: ope wide the door
 ---
PEA: a kind of legume (e.g., green peas or black-eyed peas)
PEC: pectoral muscle (more commonly referred to in the plural, but as with abs and lats, it can be singular as well)
PED: 'cause saying "pedestrian" is too much work
PEE: the letter P or slang for urine (use context to distinguish)
PEG: a pirate's leg
PEH: alternate spelling for Hebrew letter "pe"
PEN: for writing with
PEP: vivaciousness
PER: as in, this lame blog has only a couple of posts per month
PES: more than one פ
PET: an animal you keep because it's cute
PEW: a bench at church

Pi (Greek letter π)

(no front hooks for "pi")
 ---
PIA: the innermost layer of the membranes that cover the brain and spinal cord (technically, the "pia mater", but often just called the pia)
PIC: picture
PIE: a pastry with a tasty filling (also circumference over diameter... j/k, that's pi)
PIG: an animal made from tasty bacon
PIN: a pointy thing used to attach things to other things (or the act of so doing)
PIP: a decorative dot
PIS: more than one π
PIT: a hole or cavity
PIU: Italian for "more", used in musical contexts, e.g. "piu allegro" or "piu presto" (and of course, "presto", "allegro", and other musical loan-words are generally valid)
PIX: more than one pic

Po (a chamber-pot... no, really)*

APO: 'cause saying "apolipoprotein" is too much work (in this case, I'm not even being sarcastic) †
UPO: 'cause saying "upon" is too much work (this one does deserve sarcasm... come on now, really?)
 ---
POD: like peas in a pod (or pod-people in a pod)
POH: old-timey variant of "pooh" (the interjection expressing disbelief)
POI: baked taro
POL: politician
POM: like a pom-pom
POO: crap
POP: ...goes the weasel
POS: more than one po *
POT: as in, pots and pans
POW: boom! pop!
POX: a disease that leaves pockmarks

Qi (very nearly the only Q word you need to know)

(no front-hooks for "qi")
 ---
QIS: more than one qi

Thursday, February 7, 2019

Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night (Abridged Version)

A crazy old geezer one day
said he'd grieved the sun on its way
With fierce tears did he fight
'gainst people turning off the light
Man, the nursing home staff earn their pay

Monday, February 4, 2019

xīn nián kuài lè! (Happy Chinese New Year!)

I got this ballin' Chinese New Year decoration for my office and a DVD about the history of Chinese tea for my willingness to sing the "Gongxi Gongxi" song and "Zhu He Da Jia Xin Nian Hao" solo for the Mandarin class last week. Some people were taking cellphone videos of my dubious singing; if I ever get access to those I may post them too haha. (Not responsible for any ear injuries that may result.)


Have a nice Year of the Pig!

Friday, February 1, 2019

Updates and Milestones: February 1, 2019

Some updates pertaining to Tears of the Gods, blog milestones, Vintage Worlds, and Love in the Ruins. Feel free to ignore the bits you don't care about.

The Tears of the Gods

I am sad to report that the GM of the Tears of the Gods PbF game has discontinued it, and doesn't anticipate ever restarting, due to personal real-life problems he is having. I am hoping to get a summary of what he had planned for the remainder of the adventure so that I might finish the Tears story, but that may or may not happen. In any event, for now, with the game on hiatus, the Tears story updates are on an indefinite hiatus as well.

(And, yes, I did say in the last update that there's probably enough material for another chapter, but the point at which the game stopped is not a natural stopping point for a chapter, let alone the story as a whole, so I am not working on chapter 11 of Tears for now either. I may make an effort to finish it at some point, with or without the GM's notes, but for now I am waiting for the GM to decide whether to part with the rest of his adventure notes.)

Blog Milestones

January was another record-setting month for the blog, with 528 page-views. That's only the second time the blog has topped 500 views in a given calendar month, the previous time being September of last year, with its 506 views. Since August of last year the blog has not fallen below 200 views in any given month.

Much of that traffic is the Numenera 2 Character Generator, of course, which is up over 900 views now (total over its lifetime), well over a fifth of this site's total traffic (about 4300 views total since the blog started in 2014).

Unfortunately though, historically, a lot of the traffic to the Numenera Character Generator has come from a forum post I left on hub.cyphercast.net, the CypherCast online forum, which has been down now for a week or two. And, while it has been a long time since there's been any non-spam activity on CypherCast Hub, it was still ranked pretty high in search engine results, so people were still going there looking for information, sometimes finding the link to my character creator, and coming here. (And presumably they looked for and perhaps found other information on that forum as well.) But, sadly, the owners/moderators of CypherCast Hub seemingly abandoned it for the last couple of years, allowing it to be overrun by spammers advertising everything from basketball video games to industrial equipment, and now it's down altogether, so I am not exactly holding my breath for it to come back. With it gone, the only way people will discover my character creator now is through organic search engine results. This blog's position in a Google search is decent when searching for, e.g. "numenera character generator", usually around the sixth result or so, but we are ranked much lower on Bing, Ecosia, and other search engines. (Though people do find us occasionally via those search engines.)

I could probably drive a good bit more traffic to the character generator by posting the link elsewhere, but I have an intense, visceral hatred for spam, and I am very reluctant to undertake actions that may come across as spammy to other people. Besides that, it's not like I make money from folks using the character creator (or looking at anything else on this blog). It is purely a labor of love. I don't want to sully my love with anything so crass as spam!

Vintage Worlds

Speaking of spam, it's been a while since I have shamelessly shilled this book that I had a small hand in creating, namely Vintage Worlds: Tales from the Old Solar System. The story I wrote for it, "The Headless Skeletons of Mercury", is, in my opinion, my strongest short story to date (though "Tiny's Legacy" from Merigan Tales is a close second).

Since VW has been out for a while now, I guess it's as good a time as any to give my overall thoughts on it. Vintage Worlds, honestly, has a solid ratio of good stories to mediocre ones. That may sound back-handed, but for me it is high praise. I read quite a lot of short fiction-- I have since I was a kid-- and I'm a pretty harsh critic of stories that don't meet my standards. But Vintage Worlds exceeded my expectations-- not counting my own story, there were seven pieces I loved, four that I liked pretty well, and five that didn't really grab me. That is a better good-to-mediocre ratio for me than any anthology of amateur writers I can remember reading (and yes, I am saying it is better than Merigan Tales, in my opinion). Does VW compare to, say, The Best of Leigh Brackett or to any given year of Gardner Dozois' The Year's Best Science Fiction? No, not really. But, a few of VW's stories are worthy of such comparisons, or nearly so. In my opinion, the book is well worth the price if you like short fiction at all.

Also in Vintage World news, the call has gone out for submissions for a second volume of VW, owing to the success of the first volume's kickstarter. If you are an aspiring writer, short fiction is a great place to start, and a decently good short story is honestly not hard to get published in something like this. They want short stories (2500-7500 words), novelettes (7501-12500 words), and have space for, at most, one novella (12501 words or more). Volume One of VW also had a poem, so they are probably willing to consider poetry for Volume Two as well. All tales should pertain to the "Old Solar System": think ray-guns and rockets, Martian canals, Venusian jungles, Asteroid Belt pirates, etc.

Love in the Ruins

And, speaking of calls for submissions, the Love in the Ruins project looks interesting too (you'll need to scroll down to the long row of asterisks to see the announcement). For this one, the editor is looking for about fifteen short stories, a novelette or two, and four to six poems, preferably of a traditional form (e.g. sonnets). Tales for this work should be love stories set in the "deindustrial future", i.e. after the disappearance of industrial civilization (whether due to peak oil, climate change, the natural geopolitical decline of the U.S.A., or some combination of these or other factors), though not necessarily "dystopian" in the sense that that word is normally understood. So basically it's another "Space Bats" / After Oil type of project, but with a love and romance theme this time.